[ if i could be like that ]

[Tammy Bain]

TAMYLA ROSA BAIN !

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"i would give anything"



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-- *THEBASICS

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-- * FULL NAME .
Tamyla Rosa Bain
-- * NICKNAMES .
Tammy (almost exclusively), Tam, Tammers, etc.
-- * AGE .
19
-- * DOB .
October 18
-- * GENDER .
female
-- * SEXUAL ORIENTATION .
heterosexual

-- *APPEARANCE

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-- * FACE CLAIM .
vanessa hudgens
-- * HEIGHT .
5'4
-- * WEIGHT .
110
-- * HAIR .
dark brown
-- * EYES .
dark brown
-- * TATTOOS/PIERCINGS.
ears are pierced
-- * GENERAL APPEARANCE .
"I'm pretty average, I guess. Maybe on the short side. I've got really plain brown hair that's pretty wavy. It gets annoying and frizzy if I don't look after it. And plain brown eyes, but I guess I like them. I know I don't have a model's body, but when I keep active I'll admit I look kinda good. I've got a nice waist, and hips. I can look in the mirror and know I'm pretty. I have a pretty face, plain as it is. If I do my makeup well, anyway. It's got me places before. I guess I really like my eyes. They're like teddybear eyes. It's kinda deceiving. Did I mention I tan really well? That's always useful."

-- *PERSONALITY

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-- * LIKES .
-evening
-paints
-beaches
-summer
-boyss
-jewelry
-comfy sweats
-artificial cherry/grape flavour
-music
-dogs
-- * DISLIKES .
-bitter cold
-smelling gross
-being so closed up
-needles
-icky tape residue
-bullies
-blackboards
-slow people
-know-it-alls
-people with no backbone
-- * QUIRKS / HABITS .
-puts big emphasis on prioritizing
-needs to put her socks on AFTER her pants
-never throws anything away
-overthinks every little action
-tends to jump from one topic to another, doesn't always focus well (ADD)
-- * SECRETS .
-lived on the streets for a couple months after things with her parents got tough. too ashamed to tell anybody.
-- * FEARS .
-missing opportunities
-being forgotten
-- * GOALS .
-she wants to have a normal, perfect little life
- wants to be famous for something to be known and remembered

-- *HISTORY

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-- * NATIONALITY .
American
-- * HOMETOWN .
Crescent City, CA
-- * PARENTS .
Daniel Bain and Maria Fleming
-- * SIBLINGS .
Andrew Bennit (half brother)
-- * GOOD MEMORY .
"I remember going out to the ranch every summer, just hanging out with Drew and his friends and everybody there. It was such a great getaway from everything else at home. I remember wanting to spend all summer long there, learning to work with the cattle."
-- * BAD MEMORY .
"The first and only time a guy ever hit me. Ross did it. I guess I was really pissing him off."
-- * HISTORY.
.// before kadin

She figured she was in love with that town. Crescent City. A tiny city, northern Cali. The beach on one side, mountains on the other. Big enough to keep her discovering things and meeting new people, small enough for her to feel like it was her own, her place. She guessed that if things had been different, maybe if she hadn't gone to the ranch every year, she would have stayed there. She could have stayed there. She could see it. Her whole life in that one town. She would've been happy with it.

She told herself, all the time really, how lucky she was. How goddamn lucky. She knew that nobody around her was really living. They were existing, and doing it pretty well as a matter of fact, but they were not living, and they didn't even know it. She did. She figured it all had to do with that long, long drive to Montana and back, every year. How much gas money had they spent? That's what her mom always wondered. Fuck gas money. That's not what was important. She knew she wanted to live, not like everybody else who just on with their business. She just had to figure out how.

Tammy was not meant to be alive. Her mother, not having been able to work it out with her last man further north, moved to California. She met a good guy, they got settled down. Maria didn't want kids. To be honest, neither did this guy. But hey, accidents happen. When Tammy's mom found out, she tried to kill the baby. She'd managed several drunken nights before her new husband found out. He hadn't wanted the child either, but he knew drinking their troubles away would do no good. It would only mess the kid up more in life. After long talks, they opted to keep the baby. Tamyla was born two months premature. She was weak and had breathing problems. She wasn't meant to live.

She did. She pulled through against all odds, and turned out to be a bubbly, laid-back kid. An easy baby. She grew on her parents and soon they couldn't imagine themselves not wanting her, as they had all those months before. They were happy, the three of them, for years.

When Tammy was twelve, her father was killed in a road accident. The other driver was a drunk teenager, who escaped with just a cut on his forehead.

Diagnosed with ADD soon after grade one, Tammy had never really been good in school. Things got worse after her father died. She'd always been a bit of a daddy's girl. Focusing was even harder than ever. Her and her mother became snappy with eachother, each coping in their own way. A few guys came and went through the house.

She remembered, ever since she was about four, going to Montana for the summer. Every summer. Her mother still had a son back there, one she'd left behind years ago. The ex, who she remained on fairly good terms with, was looking after the kid. Andrew. Tammy and her half-brother grew very close, and tended to keep in touch over the school year when they were apart. Tammy had a hard time relating to her mother. She didn't particularly respect her, couldn't talk to her about her own problems. Drew was the one person she knew she could spill absolutely everything to. She knew she must have irritated him, ranting on and on about life, about what it meant. About what she would do. He was a good brother though, and a better friend. He got her to get on a horse for the first time, at about five or six. She'd fallen in love. Her mother didn't have the money to get her riding lessons back in California, but Tammy had found a little barn near her house. She'd work there all weekend in exchange for lessons. The older kids treated her well, taught her a lot.

After hopping from guy to guy for a year or so, Tammy's mother met Jake. The guy was sweet to her, wooing her. Buying Tammy (who was not at all convinced) lovely gifts. He moved in after a few months.

Jake wasn't really a nice guy at all. He pestered Tammy non-stop, called her names, reduced her to going to the beach at night to cry. He never let her mother see that side though, and he never hurt her, Tammy would grant him that. He was always up in her business, getting her in trouble, being an ass in general. Over the months, Tammy's mother began to take his side more and more, until Jake's word was law. Tam remember her only escape being summer at the ranch. She got closer with Drew's friends. Went from being the tagalong little sister to one of them. Drew always listened. She still remembered, whenever she got really, really low, she'd go to the beach, look at the ocean. She really did love the beach. She missed it in the summer. She missed the whole city. It was only home, what happened there, how it made her feel, that she wished she could get rid of.

Things passed quietly for several years. And when I say quietly, I mean the usual fighting, arguments, tears. Tammy remembered going out with Ross that night, to the tracks. She hadn't exactly been going out with him, but they'd had something. Tammy had turned to boys rather early. They were distracting. When you're messing around with them, it's easy not to be grumpy at your stepdad. Drew didn't approve at all, and she knew that. Anyway, that's just what she and Ross had been doing. By the end of that night though, she wound up with bruises and a split lip. Guess that guy was finally sick of all her big thinking and talking.

She can remember the anger she felt the second his strike connected. How dare he? She remembers phoning Drew that night, crying, not because she was upset but because she couldn't remember ever being so pissed. He was out with his friends, but he'd stopped and talked to her for a good half hour.

Jake started getting really unbearable around grade eleven. Her grades had been crappy most of her life, but they really dipped midway through that year, just because she had him to deal with as well as her marks. Every time she turned around he was there, driving her crazy.

She held on as long as she could. Her friends helped. Phone calls to Drew helped too. That summer, she remembered crying when she left the ranch. The next year was tough. A guy she'd been really close to (and shared a couple nights with) had killed himself that autumn. Jake had joked that he thought it was her fault. Except it wasn't really a joke.

She waited the whole year, managing to keep her marks scraping by. It was clear she would not be going to university. She'd been working hard though, held on to a couple jobs for a good long while. She'd been hired as an official stable hand at the little barn near her house. It didn't pay well, but the horses and the people were worth it, and she had other jobs. It was tough, leaving that barn, she guessed. It was tough leaving that town, but she'd had to.

She planned it well. The day after graduation. While everyone was still hungover, she was gone.

The money hadn't taken her as far as she hoped. She'd been trying to make her way northeast. Eastern Nevada, around August, her money ran out. Those next couple months, she tries not to think about. Whenever those days cross her mind, she cringes. She was too ashamed to tell even Drew. She'd done the most unspeakable things that summer's end, the filthiest, most disgusting things, to scrape up cash. Slowly, she moved. She was caught in southern Montana. Taken to the police station. She'd had to spend four awful nights in that prison before Andrew could make it to bail her out.

There had been trouble with her mother and Jake. But it was settled the day Tammy turned 18. Now she didn't need to go back. She'd spent the next year on the ranch with Drew and his dad. And like always, she had worked.

.// at kadin

{-} met shalane barcelona at the tack store.

-- *BEHINDTHESCREEN

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-- * NAME / ALIAS .
straw
-- * YEARS ROLE PLAYING .
can't remember. 6 or 7
-- * OTHER CHARACTERS .
Cristie Stjerna, Ben King

-- *OTHERSHIT

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-- * POSITION .
NA
-- * THEMES .
it ends tonight - all american rejects
world we know - crash parallel
toy soldiers - eminem
hollywood's not america - ferras
white horse - taylor swift
be like that - three doors down
apologize - timbaland
-- * CONNECTIONS .
soulmate: x
adores (friends): x
best friends: andrew b
boyfriend: x
friends: x
tempted: x
booty call: x
respects: x

acquaintances: x
likes: x
has met: shalane b

irritated by: x
no respect for: x
pissed at: x
dislikes: x
no tolerance for: x
fears: x
hates: x


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